lines from the breaking of a new season.

I was to be broken, poured out and left to die if I didn’t change my heart.
Broken, I can handle, poured out, that was me already…left to die, I couldn’t go through it.
Here I stand overwhelmed at just the thought that I’ve been saved by grace.

Oh, my God, there she is.
A line I repeat often to myself.

I am exhausted from life, but life doesn’t care about me to give me a break.
I turn to God for a break, but he gives me energy instead.

Coldness covers my heart, where’s a girl with a blanket?

How do you determine what’s meant to be?
God, help me! God, save me!

When I wake up, not even your ghost will be there.

Who’s up for a rebellion?

I want to steal a kiss from her.
I want to show her heart a good time.

My darkness is absent when she’s around.

I see things upside down.

I have hidden my heart, but she seems to find it every time.

I’ll hold her when she’s cold, and she will keep me warm.

The strength of her hug could kill a bear, good thing I’m a man.

This song is called redemption with a kiss and it was meant for me.

And I’m finally free.

Hmmmm....

I look in the mirror every day and see my future unfold before my own eyes little by little. I've become for the most part the person I was born to play. I hold deep things I want to do, see and feel, but I can't do them due to a few certain obstacles. I play this line over and over in my head, but it won't become reality...yet. I say it to one person a lot, but in a joking manner and I'm sure that deep down inside, I'm being serious, I just don't want to hurt my feelings by thinking it seriously. Hmmmm.....

I am writing new material for a new CD. I really like it all, but I'm stuck in a few places. I've got half of them written, a few done, but unarranged. I have a few more ideas for new songs, just need words. I got my recording stuff up so now I am in the process of demoing everything so that I can not have to play the guitar parts over and over. Simple. Hmmm....

I've been in Abilene for about a month now, I don't really get out much. I have a few close friends, but I want more, but I'm working on it. Hmmm....

I'm done.

The I List.

I crossed out her name and wrote a new one.
I swore I'd never hurt myself.
I lied to myself...twice.
I was less than I used to be, now I'm more.
I can't let her go if I never let her in.
I told yesterday to fuck off and I never saw it again.
I make myself feel older than I appear...in all honesty, I am.
I take a sleeping pill and force myself to stay awake and I feel good.
I was sitting in the sun once...I was sitting in the sun.
I know it's wrong, I know what's right, I know I don't care.
I can stand still for a moment, but she can stand still forever.
I took a picture of myself and I will never be that young again.
I got to go and I got to go now.

i'm taking chances.

I'm running out of cards to play and I can't buy a new deck.
Time is like powder in my hands and the wind is blowing it away little by little.
I've tried...I really have.
I am moving forward like a runaway train.
The sun has risen once again, but I'm walking away from it back into the setting of the dark...night time is where I want to be.
It was the summer of all fears...and now they are gone.
Now it goes back into the box for another season of hiding.
Stability is what I want, but I'm getting motion sickness.
My creativity seems to have left me, what will it take to get it back?
I will begin to brainstorm.
She's not a safe bet...but damn it, she is beautiful and she's trying to hold my hand.
My unfailing will to do it again is my worst enemy.
I will do it again...sometime.
My straight road has all of a sudden been changed to a winding road...and I need a winding wheel to get through it.
Will you comfort me in my time of need?
Today, I feel the need to be social, I will run my mouth all day.
I brewed coffee yesterday and the flower inside was missing 2 pedals...I was disappointed.
The sound of a steel guitar will forever be my favorite sound.
Through the stress, the confusion, the heartache, the break up, the worry, the unobtainable time, the hunger, the will to understand, etc...tonight, I will let it go...cause tonight, I'm taking chances.

Got A Job.

Well, I am currently now working at Hardback Cafe inside Hastings on South 14th. I hope to find even another job somewhere else so that I can start saving up more money. Abilene is good and I like being back here so far. I do miss my apartment in Hamlin, though. Even though it's in Hamlin, every time I stay at my place, it's like I'm in some different world. Gonna miss it when I move out of there for good. I have been taking more pictures. You should check them out.

Photography.

So I got a new camera yesterday. It's freaking sweet and I can't wait to start taking more photos. I am offically not working in Hamlin anymore, heck yeah. I am currently looking for another job and I saw one today for photography at a picture place. I think that would be cool. I like photography. I'm learning more and more on how to take a great photo. I am in Abilene now and can't wait to move in my place in 18 days...if you want your picture taken, let me know...I'd love to be the person to take it....gonna go.

More photos will be posted here soon.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/peteruiz/

It's All Happening.

The day draws nearer to the day I leave Hamlin for a good while. I still haven't found a job, but I remain in good spirits cause I know I will find one soon. I'm not even being really picky, I just want to work and do a little music...that will always make me happy. There are so many things I want to do over the next year. I would like to go back to college, but if I can't get there so quick, I will be okay with that. I'm in no hurry with life..well, that's not entirely true, I do want a few things to hurry, but I'm okay waiting.

I have a chance to see Ryan Adams soon...I really want to go...just not sure I will be able to especially if I am working by then...plus, if I do get a chance to go...like Brian, I don't want to go by myself, I want my girl to go with me. I would enjoy the music a lot more if she did. Guess I'll find out soon.

Homecoming is this weekend, but I really don't have much excitement for it. It's just another weekend for me. I am home, ya know? The only thing I have going is playing at Cafe Extreme on Friday night after the game. That should be good, though. I'm hoping I sell all of my CDs this weekend...which will pay for my rent and my move to Abilene soon. Guess it's time to wrap this up. I'll blog more when I move...cause I'll actually have internet. I'll sign off with a line from my favorite movie..."It's all happening."-Almost Famous

What's Next?

The day I once thought was closer has now fled from my sight. I hang onto hope, but the rope is nothing more than a single fragile line of thread and I feel it about to snap. Not only is the line about to break, but the crack in the wall gets bigger and the picture gets smaller. Where did I go wrong? Is it left or right, there is no straight? My life is about to turn the page to the next chapter and I don’t even know the title of the chapter and I hate that. Life is about to change and I think it’s going to be an interesting one. Change is inevitable and I’m welcoming it with a huge banner and bottle of champagne. Welcome to my life.

I think daily on the places I’ve been and where I want to go. I don’t want to repeat myself, but one of the roads is looking familiar. I know how one ends and I know how another ends, but troubles may be the thing I need to get to the unfamiliar. So in other words, I may have to hear this song again. Time will only tell.

My last day working day in Hamlin is the 26th. I look forward to that day. I’m excited. I finally feel like I’m accomplished something. I’ve been searching for a new job, but haven’t found one yet. I’ve only applied at 2 places, though. I’ll try harder this weekend.

I’m going to miss my apartment in Hamlin. I’ve been there a year and a month and I have had lots of memories in that place…probably way too many…haha. Maybe I should have a farewell party.

The paragraphs are getting smaller which means I really don’t know what else to type. I just keep wondering what's next.

The First Blog

So here I am, dwelling on thoughts I don't need like a person about to die from smoking that is about to smoke another cigarette. : / I worry as much as a crack addict trying to figure out how they're going to get more crack...and I hate it...I'm trying to break it...it's hard to break a lead pipe with your bare hands...I'm looking for a blow torch, though...I may have found one if I could find something to light it with. : /

I've never looked forward to the weekend as much as I have the past few weeks. Work was fun last year, this year, it's hell on my feet, my thoughts and my energy. I just sorta applied for a new job, hope I get it, way opposite of what I do now, but man, would I have lots of fun doing it. Won't tell you what it is just yet and if I do get it, I could knock two birds out with one stone. :)

I've been writing A LOT lately and you may have heard that many times before, but really, I have about 5 songs started this week that I LOVE. Usually takes me awhile to like my songs, but I just can't stop singing these and they're way different than my recent CD...guess they're a different side of me than writing about "being home."

I guess I'm done with this blog. More to come...

A New Blog.

Thought I would make one specifically for blogs unrelated to my music. I'll get a better blog up later.